Male Malady: Whose child is it anyway?

Marriage and babies should be democratic decisions between man and wife and not totalitarian decisions by either of them.
baby

LifePedia | By Anand Sharma

In the good old days, this question was as unimaginable as the I-V fertilization technique. (Presumably) God-fearing couples would have sex only for reasons of procreation and later the women would look after the kids and the men would go out to hunt and arrange for the proverbial -‘food on the table’.

Circa 2019, the equation has changed, not only is food needed on the table but also Swarovski show-pieces, the latest I-phone and in the era of Rahul Gandhi inspired ‘women empowerment’, women have also stepped up to contribute to the betterment of the table.

So far so good but what happens when two become three?

Besides putting the diaper on the table, whose job is it to change them, the man or the woman or both? I insist-both! However, there are some women who bite more than they can chew.

Jyoti and Rajiv (28& 32), of the ‘happily married’ fame (Jyoti was happy and Rajiv married) had managed one marital roadblock after the other till the time bad counsel dawned on them resulting in a child that would supposedly lead to eternal happiness and longevity to their matrimonial battlefield.

Jyoti, a school teacher by profession left everything for the child but after six years of child rearing and an overdose of Ektaa Kapoor soaps, decided to get back in the game.

The habit of going to office is as addictive as facebook, after logging in you can’t wait to exit yet miss it when you are logged out.

Jyoti was also naturally missing her parallel universe but luckily she found a teaching job again and Sahil, her kid got admission in the same school where both mother and son stayed back till about 4pm everyday as part of the ‘day-care’ system.

However, by the time they would reach home at 5pm, Jyoti would abdicate her motherly duties and wait for Rajiv to reach home and take over, literally.

Understandably justified, I mean how much love can you bestow on something that eats all your food, constantly demands chocolates, fast food and 100 % of your attention- your bundle of not-so-much-joy. Your very own child.

Husband dear Mr Rajiv, would reach home roughly around 8pm carrying his own set of problems from office and refused to take over the child’s duties. Whether taking him out to play or helping him with his home work and sadly, he was as justified as his dutiful wife since he wasn’t gallivanting all day or sipping beer at some fancy pub but himself slogging it through the day (from 9am to 8pm) and Rajiv did score a point about it, when he remarked that for all of Jyoti’s tantrums, she earned only 25 % of what Rajiv was bringing home.

The child with double-income parents suddenly wanted to know-Whose child am I anyway?

Ok, the question that’s begging to be asked was, Who wanted the child anyway?

Well it was Rajiv’s all-knowing, knowledgeable reincarnation of Goddess Saraswati aka his wife- Jyoti and his ever interfering, angel like (but still breathing) mother-in-law who insisted they have a child.

Secondly, whose idea was it to go back to work/career, especially when Rajiv had just landed himself a great promotion and an enviable pay-hike that eased their cash-flow.

Lastly, who screamed to convey that she was a multi-tasker, a superwoman a true feminist whose emancipation could no longer be shackled with the chains of child-rearing.

Did neo-feminist Jyoti not insist on proving her gender’s superiority by claiming to juggle all the roles of mother, wife, career-woman, a homemaker all rolled into one?

Well she did.

Ladies, there is a reason why we men are commitment-phobic, baby-phobic, EMI-phobic (but girlfriend friendly). Purely because we know our limitations and or as they say we live in the practical universe.

Playing and enjoying in the company of other’s kids for us is like enjoying a fancy Airbnb accommodation, short and sweet since somebody else is paying the EMI and maintenance; it is their baby not ours.

Time is of the essence and most importantly marriage and babies should be democratic decisions between man and wife and not totalitarian decisions by either of them.

Mind it!

Anand Sharma is a media professional, associated with leading names in the Indian TV industry for almost 18 years. He has worked with broadcasters like Star TV, Channel V & MTV India and for production houses like Miditech and Colosceum, to name a few. He specializes in Content creation in his parallel roles of Director, Creative Head and Writer (for TV production houses). His range of creative expression shifts seamlessly between tongue-in-cheek humour, emotionally-charged writings and stark satire. Some of his articles have been published on Bonobology.com, The Indian Express, connectedtoIndia.com and Little India.com. He has also written an audio-book for Storytel Originals, titled – “Tinderella in Jyotishland”.