LifePedia | Anand Sharma
When it comes to relationships, what exactly should be the criteria for two people to transcend the barriers of You & I and become We?
Believe it or not even this answer is gender-specific.
Men, simpletons as we are, don’t really have a criteria or a list of prerequisites but women with their long lists, beat even a political party’s election manifesto.
How often have we heard women and only women lay out a long check list of prerequisites for getting into a ‘relationship’ (technically there should be none).
The only thing that brings forth a relationship is a spark here a smile there and bingo, you are on that highway called LOVE and yet when you see things from a girl’s perspective all technicalities get ambushed by their utopian checklist.
It ranges from – He should smell good/ wear smart shoes/ be tall-dark & handsome/ always fashionably dressed/ broad shouldered with six-pack abs/ charming/ naturally rich/ cute smile/ very-very understanding/ chocolate-boy looks/ kindhearted/ bad boy…either the wooed or the wooer has to be suffering from a multiple-personality disorder. I will let the reader choose.
However, there is an uncanny consistency that marks the top shelf of those 459 prerequisites set by them.
Predictably speaking, “I am looking for a guy with a good sense of humour” or “I want a man who can make me laugh” or “He should be funny”.
Need clarity here. Ladies, are you looking for a boyfriend or a ‘stand-up comedian’?
In the garden of Eden was Adam funny, do you recall a single story/anecdote where Eve was perpetually cracking up at Adam’s jokes?
Anyway, why should the onus of making women laugh rest on the not-so-herculean shoulders of the aam aadmi. Last we checked, ladies, you had already bought yourselves an overpriced mirror (on Sale) so how much more amusement could you possibly desire.
Have you ever wondered if men had such prerequisites for entering into a relationship? What if our prerequisites read, “I am looking for a girl who could make me propserous” or “I want a girl who talks less” or “I am looking for a girl who is allergic to shopping.”
But we didn’t set such prerequisites (otherwise we would never be single, I guess).
So why exactly is ‘a good sense of humour’ so important in a relationship, to women?
The common & naive man: Nobody minds a free laughter therapy ?
The humble, smart, worldly-wise, common girl : Sense of humour helps us tide over the common man’s shabbiness, social awkwardness and his perpetual libido driven sex-expectant behaviour.
Researcher in me: Decades of in-depth research followed by a spend of over 217.38 million dollars (in research grants from NASA), I could finally narrow down this ‘sense of humour’ phenomenon to Alfred Adler, founder of the school of individual psychology who introduced the term ‘compensation’ theory.
It’s highly likely that it is this ‘compensation theory’ where the men have to make up for/ compensate for their women’s gloom-doom temperaments by being utterly funny.
And why are they perpetually in a gloom-doom mood?
Option A: Sad realisation that except their Papas and a lucky few with Sugar Daddies, none of us intend to pamper them throughout the year.
Option B: ‘Sale’ does not happen 24/7.
The above two lead to Option C.
Option C: Chocolate binging is therapeutic but fattening.
And most importantly what exactly makes for a good sense of humour? How do we quantify it? There are after all so many men who can crack jokes, be funny and yet end up being, forever-single.
And finally is it the be-all-end-all parameter on which to judge a man? What if he lacks a good sense of humour but makes up for it with a good clean heart, a shiny glossy bald head and a prosperous looking belly. Would that still be an impediment to a happy-relationship?
There is however a rather shocking irony here, when it comes to ‘husband material’ men, the much-sought after ‘sense of humour’ suddenly takes a back seat and only stable income takes precedence forcing one to believe in the old adage- ‘fickle thy name is woman’.
After all, Nita Dalal didn’t marry Mukesh Ambani for his sense of humour, or did she?
Anand Sharma is a media professional, associated with leading names in the Indian TV industry for almost 18 years. He has worked with broadcasters like Star TV, Channel V & MTV India and for production houses like Miditech and Colosceum, to name a few. He specializes in Content creation in his parallel roles of Director, Creative Head and Writer (for TV production houses). His range of creative expression shifts seamlessly between tongue-in-cheek humour, emotionally-charged writings and stark satire. Some of his articles have been published on Bonobology.com, The Indian Express, connectedtoIndia.com and Little India.com. He has also written an audio-book for Storytel Originals, titled – “Tinderella in Jyotishland”.
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