Childhood is undeniably the best phase in a person’s life and also the most crucial one. It is our formative years that shape us into the individuals we are, say numerous psychological studies. Yet when it comes to our children, we often struggle with a suitable parenting style that could maximise their potential and at the same time keep them stress-free.
It may happen that parents unknowingly transfer their stress or unlikeable personality traits to the children and even with sincere efforts fail to give them a happy childhood or prepare them to follow their dreams and passion later on in life.
Lina Ashar, an educationist at heart started her teaching career in Australia and moved to India later on where her stint at a prestigious suburban Mumbai school made her realise that the current education system was robbing children of their childhood with crammed classrooms, disinterested students, and over-stressed parents. This inspired her to work on a model of education that was fulfilling, effective and yet stress-free. She went on to be the founder of Kangaroo Kids and Billabong High.
Her desire to make a difference in every child’s life first led her to write her first book Who Do you think You Are Kidding, a complete guide for parents on how to build a positive child right from the start. She also wrote a guide for teenagers and parents called Drama Teen.
The next step in her effort to help children lead a fruitful and joyous life as adults is Korroboree, of which she is a co-founder. The soon-to-be-launched spiritual community is for parents who want the best for their children. The portal will explore the role parents need to play in empowering children to attain their highest potential by developing the capacity for creativity, intuition and ingenuity which will in turn enable children to find their greatness in the coming age of imagination.
A fine blend of spirituality and science, the portal will include conversations with global experts and thought leaders of neuroscience, behavioural science and energy science, motivational science and shifting our learning perspectives. It will give parents access to their published books and resources too.
Lina Ashar spoke to Top Lead India at length about her latest endeavour that aims at working with parents and children together and in turn helping parents raise happier and accomplished kids.
Excerpts:
Q: Tell us more about your upcoming venture Korroboree, a spiritual community for parents who want the best for their children. What is your inspiration behind it?
A: ‘Korroboree’ is derived from the Australian term, ‘Corroboree’, which is a sacred gathering of people. The community that we are creating will fulfil a similar purpose; being a sacred space for parents who want the best for their children.
This initiative will help parents as individuals in their own lives and subsequently help them to parent so that their children can maximise their potential as well. We will do this through a conscious awareness as we mindfully shift the way we think, feel and act.
The inspiration comes from my own awakening and the realisation that I don’t remember anything that I learnt in school. What I learnt to be happy and successful came from the stories I was told by the world. When these stories from the outer world began shifting my inner world is when I began to see the magic in my life. My curiosity would lead me to understand ‘why’ and this has convinced me that it is the success habits we build that are essential to finding happiness and success.
Q: Spirituality as a means to find hidden potential in children seems to be an interesting idea. How do you plan to combine spirituality with science considering you will have experts from neuroscience, behavioural science and motivational science guiding parents to shape up their kids’ personality?
A: The idea behind combining the two is to use the learnings from neuroscience, behavioural science and motivational science to drive internal change. Our external world is influenced by our internal perceptions, so when we direct our efforts towards changing how we perceive the world and our understanding of it, we create a better world for ourselves.
Through conversations with experts from these fields, we will help shift both, parents’ and children’s perspectives and adjust their state to enable a capacity to find greatness. The irony is that so much of what neuroscience, neurobiology and energy science is telling us after we have found the way with technology to map, monitor and prod the brain, is what ancient wisdom has been saying without the technology. So, in a sense it is only that science and spirituality are narrowing their gap.
Q: Parents often struggle with parenting techniques to raise their children. Given every child is different, how can parents determine the correct technique without hampering their growth?
A: No parenting strategy is a 100% perfect from the get-go. We learn how to adapt and evolve our techniques through learning from our children, who each have their own unique blueprints. To raise them without hampering their growth, we should let them lead us through their interests and passions and follow their direction, so that we can help guide their growth.
This applies to how we discipline our children as well. It’s important to understand what drives them, as it can help us shape their future. Our children also often trigger what needs to be resolved in the parent. So, each develops the other.
This initiative is not attempting to solve every parenting need. It is to bring awareness and guide parents on all the aspects of growth and learning that conventional schooling does not develop. Resilience, passion, inner self-awareness. School learning ends with the Board Exams. Life tests on so much that school does not address. This initiative is focussed on what life will test our children by and give parents tools and resources to help this EQ learning process.
Q: What is the ideal age for a child when his/her learning potential peaks according to your research? What can be done to hone the child’s skills?
A: The brain is constantly learning new things, so there is no certain ideal age for when a child’s learning potential will peak. Even though some acquisition of knowledge happens faster at certain ages, like learning a second language at or before the age of 6, concepts like neuroplasticity show that our brains are always learning new concepts and we can keep learning new skills.
The most important things that parents can do to help their children develop their skills is motivate them to keep trying, help them believe in their potential for success and be good role models.
Q: In the current times when everyone is confined to their homes, especially for children it poses a challenge considering they can’t play or interact with their peer group. How can one keep them engaged and at the same time make them learn new things?
A: Variety is often said to be the spice of life because new and exciting experiences make life more interesting. So, the trick to keeping children engaged in their learning is making their education entertaining and varied.
Using different aspects like singing, reading or even video games for learning can help children retain attention and motivation for their interest in learning.
That’s where edutainment makes major progress, it makes learning new concepts engaging. It creates or drives the curiosity that children already have.
Allow your children to be bored. Boredom is the playground for creativity. When you buy toys invest in books and in resources that allow your child to build and create on their own without a whole lot of instruction. For example, if you are investing in Lego – invest in the ‘raw’ Lego kits and not the DIY or instructional kits. The process is important. Not the outcome or the end product. Let your children create their own toys out of saucepans, cardboard boxes, twigs and stones.
Q: In lockdown, online classes have replaced school, but the joy of learning along with other children is lacking. How can one deal with this challenge?
A: Engagement between peers can be achieved through various online activities but they will always lack the special aspect of in-person interaction. However, the spirit of friendliness with classmates can be evoked through friendly competition and group projects. Even if students are separated through screens, they can still connect socially via the internet, and this may be the safest option in the current scenario.
You can encourage the joy of learning in the home. The kitchen is a science laboratory if approached with the correct mindset. Provide art materials, paper, crayons and paints and you have an art class. Bring a plant into the home and you have botany. Allow children to make their beds and help at home and you have a life skills class. Learning is not confined to a classroom or a school. All parents need is a little imagination to make learning come alive.
With younger children read and use extensions for children to rewrite the ending, perform a scene. With older kids shift their thinking. Harry Potter goes to a school of Witchcraft. What would an Elon Musk school of innovation look like? Let them begin an exploration into the mind of Elon Musk.
Q: There are many children who are suffering from anxiety and mental health issues. Especially in the current circumstances, how can one deal with it.
A: Talk to your children, they need to be able to connect with you at their level. Very often, we forget that children don’t see the world as we do and can’t relate to things in the manner that we do. This distance can be bridged through effective communication and empathy. This time is exhausting, even for them. So, we need to take away the expectations, pressure and burdens placed on them to help them take it easy.
In doing so, we can give them the space and opportunity to address their emotional and mental needs. Most importantly, we need to be there for them and show them that they are unconditionally loved. Take time to view Moonshot Conversation episode on Operation Optimism and Raising Resilient Children. It will give you insights on a process called ‘reframing’ to help your children and yourself through this time.
The fact is that wherever you allow your thoughts and focus to go, enlarges its influence on how you feel. So if you think boredom, loss of friends, lockdown – this internal world will create your reality. If you think ‘from doing to being’, rest and rejuvenation, time to learn and create, family bonding – this internal world will create your reality. Children will learn from what they see you do and how you process this time. That will influence how they process this time.