Nirbhay Kumar
Rejection is a negative thought that agitates most of us when we face it. Be it a job interview, a business deal, a relation or a bid to get approval from friends and relatives, rejection is seldom taken positively. Those rejecting are sometimes seen as villains or enemy. In many cases, we become hostile to the persons who dismiss our idea and find fault in us.
In case, the feeling continues for longer time it triggers other negative emotions like worthlessness. We get the sense of being totally unimportant. In rejection, we blame our situations, people, timing and even some of the least possible reasons. This considerably impairs our ability to make sound decisions and we often go off the rails.
There are very few people who take lessons from rejection and use it to their advantage. In the famous Hollywood film Godfather, the main character Vito Corleone once advises his close confidantes to not harbour the feeling of hatred against the members of rival camp as it may impact their ability to deal decisively with them.
It may be noted that rejection actually helps us improve our skill and personality. It helps us build our defence mechanism stronger. We all have heard of young students committing suicide as they could not face rejection by teachers, relatives or peer groups. These are students who never faced rejection in their childhood and as a result a defence mechanism could not be developed.
If we closely assess how these children were brought up, in most likelihood we will find that their parents never disagreed with the choices of their children. Worse, they approved even unjust and unruly behavior of their children. But such parents cannot always be around to protect their children. In practical life, many adverse and unwanted situations come. There may be a situation in college, when a student could be bullied by their seniors. The parents would not be there to provide shield then.
Rejection hence helps us build a defence mechanism around ourselves. It helps in chiselling our personality and become the best. None of the negative emotions are permanent. They come, test our patience and provide an opportunity to improve our skills. We generally do not bother to see the role of rejection in the success of a person. But if we read the stories of great and successful persons, we will see how rejections made them what they are.
One may argue that there are many people who were never rejected yet attained great success. This indeed is possible but such people find it way more difficult to sail when waters are rough. Don’t we hear the most intelligent student and successful businessmen ending their life when faced with simple problems of life?
The author is a journalist and aspires to become good human being by observing the people around him. He is also co-founder of TopLeadIndia.com