LifePedia | Anand Sharma
According to women, out of the two sexes- one is perfect and the other is ‘male’.
Thereby implying how all their problems started with men, ‘menopause’, ‘menstrual cramps’ and ‘mental’ problems to name a few. Is the male psyche off-key?
Well ladies, purely FYI, ‘psyche’ is the female Goddess of the soul. And truth be told, we men do cherish our souls but the price of ownership is turning out to be rather high.
Anyway, brothers have you ever counted the number of times your girlfriend has drawn out and detected faults with your male buddies?
Well, some of them might be right some of the time and yet, women dissect a bit too fine.
Agreed, our male buddies are not perfect, be it their sense of dressing (or the lack of it) their excessive amount of testosterone and or their uncanny resemblance to carefree alcoholics but they are still just as human.
Net result, our women, aka judge-jury-executioner all rolled into one condemn our male friends as perpetual losers while in the same breath uphold the righteousness of their girl gangs.
When women bitch about men they call it ‘constructive feedback’ but when we voice our well-formed opinions about women, they conveniently label us ‘frustrated men’.
Akshay and Naveli, had been dating each other for over 10 months before Naveli decided to move in with him. An independent and executive decision taken by Naveli (but in Akshay’s interest). And suddenly Akshay’s best buddies came across as the faultiest characters on Planet Earth.
And what brought home this realization was Naveli’s occult powers of reading people like books.
It’s a pity, CIA and RAW’s head hunters were looking elsewhere. Their loss was Akshay’s gain. Well….almost!
Thanks to Naveli, Akshay soon discovered that there were more faults in his friends than there were coasters in his redecorated love-nest.
The fault in Akshay’s friends read like a never ending laundry list –
they wear the same pair of jeans everyday
they always veto shopping trips
they are not very expressive
they use down-market abusive language
they use the house as a sports bar and crash at our love-nest
they are perpetually broke……
Akshay in his defense suggests that Ladies, first of all there is nothing wrong in wearing the same pair of jeans, a man is known by his denims, it’s an extension of him unlike your girl gang who are disloyal to their sense of fashion that keeps changing through the day sometimes inspired by and at other times imposed by their mood swings.
Secondly, regarding vetoing shopping trips, it is done (on humanitarian grounds) in order to save you from panic attacks as you stare at your already overcrowded closets reeling under the weight of mindless Sale- driven shopping fiascos and the inevitably recurring confusion on what not to wear.
And about ‘not’ being expressive-
Why can’t profound monosyllables be interpreted as ‘being expressive’ or should one return from a serene Goa with sunburned tongues only, to qualify for being expressive?
In fact a lot of men are OK if their women express themselves till the last word, provided they get to it!
On a trivial note-No wonder, it’s called ‘Mother tongue’, because our fathers and our forefathers seldom got to ‘express’ in front of their women!
Ok, about abusive language- well the only difference between men and women is that men abuse in chaste Hindi while your girl gang cusses in borrowed Western accents and slangs, but abuse, we both do!
And Ladies, about using the house as a sports bar- watching Sports over a chilled beer at home is done purely to cut corners (with the sole intention of splurging it on you, eventually); our buddies crash at our homes/love-nests just so that they don’t drink & drive (for the greater good of society).
Akshay insists Naveli spot the halo over their heads.
About being broke- Akshay’s friends hint that they got there only because they believe in the power of NOW (naturally with some side-effects)
Not to mention men never get an equivalent of a ‘Ladies Night’ offer at any of the clubs and inspite of the Feminist revolution, women still prefer men compliment them 24/7, chaperon them round the year, open doors and our wallets for them.
So the bottom line is – there is almost “no fault” with our friends, never was, especially if you discount the proverbial ‘unnees bees’ ka theory.
Yet, people of the problematic ‘sex’ are still willing to put up with the ‘perfect’ you and your ilk. No pun intended!
Anand Sharma is a media professional, associated with leading names in the Indian TV industry for almost 18 years. He has worked with broadcasters like Star TV, Channel V & MTV India and for production houses like Miditech and Colosceum, to name a few. He specializes in Content creation in his parallel roles of Director, Creative Head and Writer (for TV production houses). His range of creative expression shifts seamlessly between tongue-in-cheek humour, emotionally-charged writings and stark satire. Some of his articles have been published on Bonobology.com, The Indian Express, connectedtoIndia.com and Little India.com. He has also written an audio-book for Storytel Originals, titled – “Tinderella in Jyotishland”